天啊又過一年,抖森依舊沒攻克CH小姑獨處(喂)我對抖森的滿滿祝福在標籤「Hiddlesworth」中說了好幾次,希望湯湯今年更加進步,跟CH拐到個吻之類,拜託別再躲了啦,人家往前你就後退,這樣關係怎能進展?

 

恰逢湯湯生日,有什麼時候比此刻更適合填完去年11月的草稿呢(是的,我又拖了三個月﹍﹍) 沉寂一段時間後,Tom跟Chris這兩個死不要臉的傢伙藉著雷二宣傳期帶給大家滿滿的RPS料,真是感謝他們用親身立行推CP。這篇嚴格上可以說是雷神二姦情彙整,所以有些字句可能重複用(最近我總有一種梗快用完江郎才盡之感OTL)請大家多包涵,反正重點在Hiddlesworth上頭,字句都是多餘的啦 

 

1、當Tom Hiddleston變成Tom Hemsworth,這一切還有什麼好說的呢

變成Hemsworth家第四子這句話首先由CH提出,讓人相當意外,要知道CH平日算是兩人中較低調含蓄那方,但關鍵時刻往往是他更給力。抖森常常於CH背後示愛,但到本人面前又縮,CH則是相反,平常不講,一遇到抖森可是揉奶、摸脖、摟腰、我愛你狂表白、嫁給我吧直接進Hemsworth皇家大床家門通通都來。

 

CH首次說出領養梗是在今年的雷二倫敦首映,

 

領養就領養,摸來摸去是想怎樣wwww

 

兩人對話逐字稿(via tenacitastenacitas):

Chris Hemsworth: Heey--
Tom Hiddleston: Heeeey!
Chris Hemsworth: This guy, meaning, Tom.
Tom Hiddleston: This... guy--
Chris Hemsworth: How are you, mate?
Tom Hiddleston: Chris--
Chris Hemsworth: Good to see you, buddy.
Tom Hiddleston: How does it go?
Chris Hemsworth: Good, mate.
Tom Hiddleston: Yeah-- Here we go.
Chris Hemsworth: I see you're lookin' dapper. Feeling good?
Tom Hiddleston: Looking nice with a three piece!
Chris Hemsworth: And the rain, here it comes.
Tom Hiddleston: A pop-- A little pop of red.
Chris Hemsworth: Immediately when we met then... It started to rain. You feel that?
Tom Hiddleston: That's because of you.
Chris Hemsworth: It's emotional.
Tom Hiddleston: God of Thunder.
Chris Hemsworth: [chuckles]
Chris Hemsworth: We've adopted him, he is one of the Hemsworths.
Tom Hiddleston: Yeah.
Chris Hemsworth: He's handy. We've given him a card, given him a badge--
Tom Hiddleston: Yeah, I'm like the runt of the litter.
Chris Hemsworth: That's right-- Oh, no!
Tom Hiddleston: [chuckles]
Chris Hemsworth: Not at all! No, he is-- He is the leader! If anything.
Tom Hiddleston: Okay. I'm just like... I'm just slightly-- You know when if you get a kit-- Like a litter of kittens and they are all like... Black and white? I'm the like... tabby one.
Chris Hemsworth: Nooooo!
Tom Hiddleston: No?
Chris Hemsworth: You're the boss, mate.
Tom Hiddleston: Okay.
Chris Hemsworth: We pay attention-- Just like the fans out there, look at them--
Tom Hiddleston: Yeah--
Chris Hemsworth: Dressed up in Loki outfits.
Tom Hiddleston: Okay. Yup.
Chris Hemsworth: [laughs]
Tom Hiddleston: [does too] No, I do-- It's been amazing! I've hung out with his brothers as well, they-- It's a great time, I gotta say.
Chris Hemsworth: It's pretty fun.
Tom Hiddleston: It's also fun to see where he fits into the dynamic... of his brothers.
Chris Hemsworth: [laughs]
Tom Hiddleston: It's very, very entertaining.
Chris Hemsworth: Somewhere... In the middle.
Tom Hiddleston: [laughs] In the middle? Yeah, yeah!
Chris Hemsworth: [laughs]

之後領養梗貫穿整段宣傳期,抖森總說自己是最瘦小且格格不入的那隻,而CH會第一時間反駁,稱讚抖森可是小狼之王XD

 

CH講這話可有依據,人家抖森都已經用"CH的人"這名義參加兄弟公路旅行了w 

 

一個CH就讓抖森心花怒放,再來一個山寨CH(Liam表示他也是Hemsworth家的好嗎?)作伴根本比中樂透還爽!抖森沒有親生兄弟,所以他對於真實兄弟間怎麼相處滿感興趣,看到親愛的Chris跟長得跟Chris超像的弟弟Liam鬥來鬥去覺得美好得彷彿沒有明天很妙。家中一堆姊妹跟一堆兄弟的相處模式的確不太一樣,抖森一看就知道跟姊妹吵架吵到大、而CH則是跟兄弟一路打過來b 兩人氣場差異挺大,尤其各別跟女生在一起時的氛圍差距更明顯。

 

打進了兄弟圈,抖森長了一張有長輩緣的臉(直譯:額頭很高),理所當然岳父母也是盡收囊中。

  

(via tenacitas) 抖森愛抱抱全世界都知道,每次看他跟人擁抱都覺得幸福感撲鼻而來啊www

 

抖森收服了CH的兄弟、深得Hemsworth家兩老喜愛,也不忘親親Elsa秀姊妹情跟逗弄小公主India。

 

跟Elsa是好姊妹w 兩位各司其職,一位照顧CH在家生活,一位讓CH開心上工,裡外配合無間,讓CH拼事業無後顧之憂(?)

 

來看看CH的人生贏家之姿。

 

老子最近星運大開,靠得就是身邊兩位好幫手啊www 娶得美嬌娘、摟得好基友,人生30前,誰能比我行?

 

除了跟Elsa成為甜甜的閨蜜,湯湯還不時去逗弄小CH(那鼻孔跟CH完全是同基因出來的產物),詳見【Hiddlesworth】湯湯是India教父?!「我們還滿常見面的,我會去看他(CH),跟他女兒打招呼,他有個非常可愛的女兒,她很有趣,我會假裝是她的魔鬼教父,我保證沒有那麼邪惡,只是好玩而已。」嗷嗷嗷嗷嗷嗷嗷嗷India快趁機拍湯叔叔的額頭,你的小鼻孔跟你爹地一模一樣,叔叔超愛好嗎(住口!)

 

同場加映,抖森說自己沒有兄弟,結果下一秒CH的魔爪就摸過來了,彷彿在說你怎會沒有兄弟,你還有我啊!不過抖森想要的關係不只是兄弟啊克里斯葛格~

 

 

那隻大手是CH的,讓孤單寂寞冷自小沒有兄弟在浴室玩裸體打架的湯湯瞬間得到安慰(夠!)

 

MTV這段訪談剛好補足上段訪談被卡掉的部分,

  

這角度就相當清楚了,「這兩人絕對有一腿」by Josh

 

2、基不離錘、錘不離基,就像陰與陽

話說神棍們不都愛來陰陽調和這招?抖森你拐CH一同渡過漫漫長夜的動機會不會太明白?

 

湯抖森你知道在東方世界自比成陰與陽,就暗示你們下一步將陰陽調和採陰補陽了嗎!你到底有多想跟你哥水乳交融(我相信你們想交融的是其他體液)

 

我沒唬爛,咱們看看wiki怎麼解釋「陰陽」:陰陽的概念,源自古代中國人民的自然觀。古人觀察到自然界中各種對立又相聯的大自然現象,如天地、日月、晝夜、寒暑、男女、上下等,以哲學的思想方式,歸納出「陰陽」的概念。我把重點標出來了(咳)湯抖森果真想當被綁的那位(綑綁系湯湯請見【湯抖森】最彎的直男 ),CH你還在等什麼!

 

CH也不是省油的燈,抖森了不起用陰與陽比喻神兄弟的關係,並暗自希望CH能聽懂他的暗示,而CH直接把這段關係昇華成Hiddlesworth,不過他還沒領會到湯湯內心澎湃的情感。"I'm just as anxious, if Tom's not in the movie with Thor, where does Thor sit in this? He's my foundation, there's a yin and yang between the two of them."(Tom是我的基石,沒有他就沒有Thor)、"It's like any relationship, you either have chemistry or not. you can't force it."(這就像任何關係,你們之間有無化學反應是勉強不來的事)娜塔莉別哭,Jane跟Thor沒有火花不是你的錯,而是因為演員們早認定彼此,這一切都是命啊~

 

3、我們在神話開始的地方一同下廚、談著兩人的未來

眾所皆知湯湯是個爆料王,這邊得為他澄清一下,其實抖森沒有刻意塑造自己跟CH關係甜蜜蜜,只是每次提到CH他就忍不住回憶總總相處時的美好,加上湯湯是個帶來歡樂帶來愛的體質,每次有幸福的事情就會想跟大家分享,簡單來說他就是對造成光害的總總舉動沒有自覺罷了,平日走在路上那些令人髮指的閃光們不也這樣(情人節快到了,趁機當一下去死去死團)

 

Tom Hiddleston about romance, theatre and cooking with Chris Hemsworth 

- Do you have a chance to drink a beer with Chris Hemsworth in London or have a life talk with Anthony Hopkins after another day of shooting?

- To be honest I don’t remember if I see them outside shooting stage because shooting day was long, from dusk to dawn. And, no, I remembered! When we left for Island for shooting “The Dark World”, I and Chris Hemsworth were settled in a small house right at the foot of a volcano, where all the action took place. It was a pretty ordinary house but you know what was special about it? Every day Chris and I cooked together culinary masterpieces with our Iceland house manager. And then chatted about life and drank vine all night long. It was very funny. I haven’t had so much fun for a long time. (via hiddleston-daily)

 

兩個人住在自己的小天地,每天在管家的看管下(泰勒表示得嚴格看管他們,免得玩得太嗨隔天上不了戲)聊天吃飯喝點小酒調調情上上床說說我愛你

 

(via Talk of the Town) 不知道這張是不是在冰島拍的?中間那女孩是工作人員Claire McKinley,不是被泰勒派去監督抖森自述中的管家。

 

4、你無論去哪,我都想跟

抖森跟CH答過幾次時空旅行的問題,每次都是CH先回答,抖森屁顛顛硬要跟在後面XD

  

  

  

(via ifaceitlikeagod) 婦聯時期的宣傳,CH說要回到史前時代揍揍恐龍把他們當馬騎,估計內心OS「Tom~誰叫你跑不快呢,不然我騎你就好啦」怪不得湯湯每天練跑啊﹍﹍(咳)湯抖森聽到CH要回到史前時代,立刻哀怨地說「這樣我就喝不到濃縮咖啡了」抖森,CH又沒說要帶你,自己硬要跟還怨沒咖啡喝是怎樣?你回到史前時代的話,給暴龍塞牙縫都不夠好嗎b

 

不過呢,CH是個懂得改進的男人,第一次回答不夠好,第二次就貼心地換到個有咖啡喝的年代。雷神二宣傳的時候,抖森跟CH回答了個特異功能的問題,主持人問如果有特異功能,他們想要什麼能力?CH說時空旅行,他想回到200年前,成為第一個衝浪的人,而跟屁蟲抖森又再次屁顛顛愛哭愛對路地說「不帶上我嗎

  

  

  

(via tenacitas) CH這次學乖了,立刻跟抖森表示「你當然可以跟,如果你要跟我一起旅行,想要什麼超能力呢?」喂喂喂喂喂,你們這樣硬改問題沒關係嗎?!CH無意間宣示抖森所有權的舉動實在霸道又帥氣啊!雖然湯湯不會衝浪,但這次有咖啡喝,加上他還有一項特異功能的扣打,整個異想天開地說,CH負責帶他旅行,他專職優雅地看CH狼狽(咳) 希望有"不用衝浪板即能在水上滑"的能力(靠盃,花滑選手AU又來了有沒有)抖森一臉得意地表示CH在旁努力衝浪,他則悠哉地在水面滑來滑去,讓CH整個哭笑不得XD

 

5、只要CH一摟,甜湯隨手到來

為什麼CH對抖森勾搭肉排或路人ABC都老神在在?因為他非常清楚只要他一出手,抖森就會乖乖回到他身邊。

 

2:15左右開始CH大手一摟,看似無心實則有意地打斷Levi與抖森談情說愛,即使Levi依然深情望著抖森,但抖森早被CH帥氣的臉蛋引光了注意力,沒辦法,有時候戀愛這種東西就是先搶先贏啊Levi哥哥(拍肩膀)

 

喜歡湯抖森不知不覺邁入兩個年頭,看著他從小透明變成半濁體,在事業上一再挑戰自己,感情持續空窗只因他愛CH依舊,一路損他下來其實我的感情也投了不少。最後以一首腐女之歌來堅定我的Hiddlesworth與神兄弟之路(咳)

Do you want to write a fan fic?(點進去有歌可以聽)

Come on, what do you say?

Please write one about my favourite ship, make my stomach flip, remember make them gay!

GAY 

Please don’t write them as buddies… I need ‘not safe for work’, and please do not let them die!

Do you want to write a fan fic?

It doesn’t have to be a long fic…

 

共~勉~之~

啊,對了,忘了說抖森生日快樂,別忘記一起共勉啊(到底想怎樣)

 

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